There’s Strength In The Idea Of Being Over It
Recently, in my NYC therapy practice, I’ve been thinking about the power in being finished or done. There’s strength in the idea of being over it, whether being over a crappy job, a parent’s narcissism, a so-so relationship or just, this president. After the election, there were buttons sold that just read, “No.”
In general, we tend to put up with crap for too long because of our own underdevelopment. It’s rarely a question of will or even, standards. Most people in crummy situations know they’re in a crummy situation. He or she would likely advise a friend to get out of that very same situation, but something keeps them in it. It’s easy to beat yourself up or get fixated on why a person is doing the crappy stuff they’re doing rather than getting out of the situation.
Leaving Toxic Relationships, Traumatic Memories or Crappy Situations Behind Takes Tremendous Work (Often In Therapy)
Leaving crap behind is an important thing in therapy–leaving behind bad people, bad juju, painful or traumatic memories, etc. Oftentimes, though, it’s not as simple as just waving your hands. We aren’t, in reality, suddenly “done” as if by magic. Being done comes on the other side of tremendous work. But with growth, being done can get easier. And sometimes, those are the best moments.
To acknowledge the beauty in being done and leaving bad, painful or toxic stuff behind, as well as the work it takes to get there, I’ve listed 10 ways to be finished with a crappy situation:
- Leaving a job
- Leaving a bad relationship
- Ending a relationship with a toxic friend
- Learning to set big limits with a parent or parents
- Quitting smoking
- Ending a habit of making and/or keeping around narcissistic friends
- Putting up with bad behavior from an ex with whom you co-parent
- Tolerating bad behavior from an employee or co-worker
- Giving up feeling guilty about something or toward someone
- Making a decision to be done with depression or grief