We’re excited to share that our therapist Kelly Scott was recently featured in two articles in Insider. In both articles, Kelly provided commentary on relationships, drawing on her experience as a couples and relationship therapist.
In “MTV’s ‘Ghosted’ helps people confront friends and lovers who ditched them without warning,” Kelly spoke with writer Julia Naftulin about how the new MTV show could cause emotional distress and “opens the door for cruelty.” Kelly explains why folks ghost even though it’s hurtful (“people are scared of conflict and ashamed of feelings they have towards people,” she says), and why confrontation may not be the best idea. “For many people who are in therapy or should be, it’s such an ego blow,” she observes.
Instead, Kelly recommends if someone who was ghosted feels like they need to express how hurtful the experience of being ghosted was, it’s “healthier and more helpful” to share their feelings rather than confront. “The conversation shouldn’t be about why you don’t like me or what happened…it’s less of an asking and more of a telling,” Kelly explains.
The second article comes from Naftulin’s ongoing series in which she answers a reader’s question by consulting with relationship experts and couples therapists. Kelly engages with a question from a reader who feels a lack of attention from his wife when he talks about his job. Kelly notes that attention and support in relationships don’t need to be completely equal, but instead, they should be tailored to each partner’s individual needs. Some people may need more or a different kind of support than their partner, and it’s important to be able to express what kind of support is needed. Kelly observes, “It’s less about caring about the work, more about meeting the partner’s needs, regardless of what they are, if they’re reasonable.”