Hayleyisfree / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND For the purpose of this conversation, psychotherapists in NYC (the market is quite different elsewhere) can be roughly divided into two camps: those who accept insurance as an in-network provider and those who do not. When we talk about psychotherapists, by the way, we’re including a whole lot ofRead more
People hate me on Yelp
Barbary Coast Ranger / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA Google Local, too. No kidding. A friend of mine brought it to my attention a few weeks ago, as delicately as she could: “You have a Yelp problem.” It took a moment for it to click. I hadn’t even remembered that I was on Yelp, so theRead more
An activity-ist walks into a bar
I’ve talked quite a bit here about the critical question in shaping a life being whether you’re an activist or a passivist. What I should have done was use two made-up words: Activity-ist and passivist. The position I mean to advocate is really one that places what we do (activity) at the center of aRead more
“Astoria for grief” and the managed-care swap meet
You can imagine my momentary confusion on spotting this subject line from an unfamiliar email address: “Astoria for grief.” The title reminded me of one of those 1970’s only-in-NYC thrillers, like The Taking of Pelham 123, or The French Connection, or even the Spider-Man series, and I began to envision a hospice-worker protagonist rushing toRead more
Diversifying your (relationship) portfolio: Pop songs lie
Iman Mosaad / Foter / CC BY-SA I’m not much of a stocks and bonds guy, but practicing therapy not far from NYC’s financial district, I’ve learned a few things about investing from some of my patients. Among the more straightforward pecuniary principles is the notion of a diversified portfolio. The idea is that, noRead more
Optimism v. pessimism? Bo-ring! The real question is, are you an activist or a passivist?
Thomas Hawk / Foter / CC BY-NC Every now and then I get accused of something truly awful: Being an optimist. I object (strenuously) not because the real story is that I’m a pessimist (I’m not) but because the very premise of a categorization of optimist versus pessimist is grounded in passivity. The assumption inRead more
Emotions are like 4 year-olds
State Library of Queensland, Australia / Foter / No known copyright restrictions I love my niece. She’s brimming with curiosity, she’s generous with hugs, she’s silly and sincere all at the same time. Her parents love her too, of course. But they do not, under any circumstances (and as much as she may plead) letRead more
Two kinds of anxiety
1.The mysterious, complicated, mushed-up kind of anxiety: You wake up and for seemingly no good reason you feel anxious. The sound of the shower turning on makes you jump; you feel a creeping anxiety as you leave the house; and the anxiety ebbs and flows in waves throughout the day. It’s an ordinary day, andRead more
“What if ‘the real you’ is a jackass?” A case for fake.
I acted out on Facebook, and it wasn’t the first time. But really, I couldn’t help myself. It happens. Someone innocently posted this little bit of pith: “The real you is better than a fake someone else.” You’ve heard something along those lines. (Probably in your Facebook feed). And it seems sensible. Except, consider the following:Read more
Anger and the accident of Google
Last March I set about building this website. In the “age of the internet” I figured I’d write a lot to give prospective therapy patients in NYC a real taste of what my psychotherapy and group therapy practice has to offer. I wrote about therapy for depression, dating, drugs and alcohol, anxiety therapy–I covered theRead more
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