Avoiding pain is a primary motivation for all humans—therapists included One needn’t read Freud or Darwin (both of whom have a lot to say on the subject) to understand that avoiding pain is a primary motivation for all human beings. Pavlov can suffice: I touch the hot stove, it hurts, and so, I avoid touchingRead more
The Real Issue with Boundaries in Therapy
Boundaries are needed in therapy, but we should also consider what we are walling out Like all relationships, boundaries are necessary in therapy. When I consider navigating boundaries as a therapist, I often think of Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall,” best known for its line, “Good fences make good neighbors”: “Before I built a wallRead more
Troubled Teen Programs Should Be a Last Resort: Less Authority Is More for Teens
Troubled teen programs are the logical, furthest extension of authority A recent New York Times editorial, “The Troubled-Teen Industry Offers Trauma, Not Therapy,” argues for more regulatory oversight and best practices for troubled teen programs, some of which have been exposed in recent years for abuse. The troubled teen industry, the teen wilderness treatment industry,Read more
College Students, You Want to Separate Your Therapy From Your School
College is a highly emotional transition, yet most college health centers can only offer triage In our therapy with college students, we often see young adults who are struggling turn to their schools’ health centers for mental health care. As writer Sofia Barnett argues in a recent Teen Vogue editorial, college students frequently find theseRead more
Feeling Safe and Being Safe Aren’t the Same Thing (And It’s Often Hard to Tell the Difference)
There is an important distinction between feeling safe and being safe “Everyone has a right to feel safe.” “I want you to feel really safe in my office.” These are things I often hear from other therapists and I find myself cringing in response. While there are worthwhile underlying values of safety inherent in theseRead more
This Happened to Me, but It Isn’t Who I Am (Or Is It?)
It was just so unlike me, my life In the opening scene of HBO’s 2021 Tina Turner documentary, Tina, the Queen of Rock settles in for her interview with a reluctance observable throughout the film, one that characterizes, seemingly, her very participation in the film itself. If viewers know much about Turner beyond the headlinesRead more
Is COVID Still Affecting Couples’ Priorities and Influencing Divorce?: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Buzzfeed
Whether pushing partners in casual relationships to suddenly move in together or creating tension as couples were forced to coexist in cramped apartments, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly altered many couples’ relationships. Even more than three years later, these impacts are still apparent, including influencing some couples’ decisions to divorce. Our Founder and Clinical Director MattRead more
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Addresses Parents’ Complicated Feelings About Their Young Adults’ Return to School on All Of It with Alison Stewart
Excitement, loss, anxiety, relief—parents can wrestle with a whole host of complicated emotions when their young adult child leaves home for college. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist returned to WNYC’s All Of It with Alison Stewart to discuss how parents can make room for all of their sometimes conflicting feelings as their kidsRead more
How Therapy Speak About Boundaries Is Used to Deny Ambivalence in Relationships: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Buzzfeed
What does it mean when the language of therapy, such as notions of boundaries, is used to justify actions within the context of a romantic relationship? This question has been debated recently after a series of text messages allegedly sent from Jonah Hill were leaked by his ex-girlfriend in which he lists what she shouldRead more
How Parents and Adult Children Can Navigate Living Together: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Healthline
Since the pandemic, an increasing amount of parents and adult children have decided to live together. While there is often much discussion about these relationships grating on both the adult children and their parents, these arrangements can often be beneficial. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be navigated with clarity and care.Read more
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