…and tells us an awful lot about who we are (and a bit about group therapy). His name is Thomas Thwaites, and I first saw the video where I find a good deal of smart things, on TED. Check it out: Pretty terrific, right? Just sharing it with you is exciting, but I’d like toRead more
Other people, who are a pain in the ass
The Cabin On The Road / Foter / CC BY-SA When I was a freshman in college things were bad, and I dragged myself to therapy. I’d stopped being able to cope with the depression I’d just barely coped with most of my life. College was hard, and I didn’t have a clue. There wasRead more
Listen, body, you work for me.
Benjamin Disinger / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Your body’s telling you it doesn’t want to get out of bed (go on the job interview, the date, the networking meeting, the get-together with friends). It’s tired. Or wrapped in that familiar warm blanket of depression. Hiding out is the only thing on its agenda. OnlyRead more
What’s your specialty?
A couple of years ago I went to a workshop, “Building Your Dream Psychotherapy Practice” at the New York City chapter of NASW (the National Association of Social Workers). At the time I was the director of a group therapy center here in New York and always eager to learn about new ways of promotingRead more
Emotional efficiency (thinking and growing qualitatively; part I)
Shawn Clover / Foter / CC BY-NC There’s a lot of talk about efficiency. With the advent of smart phones, and all of the capabilities inherent in syncing various parts of our lives, the conversation around efficiency at work and elsewhere has taken off. Websites like Lifehacker are jam packed with useful tips for savingRead more
“It’ll take time”
There are few trite phrases that bug me more than the common rejoinder to a sharing of loss, grief, or sadness–the words “It’ll take time.” Hard-boiling an egg takes about 10 minutes; a haircut takes about a half hour; college typically about 4 years. All of this varies a bit, depending on how hard youRead more
On the subject of being (emotionally) small
Michał Koralewski – mobile photography / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Small can be a wonderful thing: A small stature, small meals; even a small New York City apartment can have its charms. Not so for being emotional small. What’s that? It’s constantly selling yourself short, saying “no” out of fear or self doubt, or maybeRead more
Do you want to be normal or do you want to grow?
Yes, people do ask, “Am I normal?” Or sometimes, of course, “Is this normal?” Psychotherapists have endless strategies for avoiding the question (though many answer on face value, weighing the person or the behavior described against the therapist’s understanding of what’s normal). Perhaps it’s evasive, but I tend to respond by telling the asker that IRead more
Finding a therapist (or psychologist, or psychiatrist, or… Help!)
t_buchtele / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Finding a therapist can be a bit perplexing, especially given the various professions involved. Here are a few thoughts to guide you in your search. Umm, what’s a therapist? Believe it or not, this isn’t as easy (or uncommon) a question as you might think. Technically, it could meanRead more
Digging through the garbage
We all have plenty of garbage. Painful stuff from the past, whether it’s harm that was done to us, mistakes we’ve made or bouts of bad luck that set us back. Crap. Baggage. Stuff. What I’m puzzled by is the way so many of us seem to cling tightly to the garbage, as though itRead more