“The heart breaks and breaks and lives by breaking. It is necessary to go through dark and deeper dark and not to turn.” — Stanley Kunitz (The Testing-Tree) One of my favorite words is “ordinary.” (Insert joke here: “Your favorite color is gray.” “Your favorite NYC street is 3rd Avenue.”) Yeah, yeah. I mean it,Read more
The world only spins forward
Last week, a friend of Huma Abedin, the wife of shamed Queens and Brooklyn, New York Congressman Anthony Weiner, reporting on Ms. Abedin’s state of mind in the wake of her husband’s scandal, offered this to the SoniaT 360. / Foter / CC BY New York Times: “She’s worrying about the bigger picture, her own family,Read more
Want to avoid disappointment? Ask, don’t expect
People are disappointing. Really. I mean it. I think this is more of a comment on the one who’s disappointed than on the one who’s doing the disappointing. That’s confusing. Let me put it another way: If you find yourself disappointed by someone, it’s probably your fault. See, in order for someone to disappoint you,Read more
But why?
Last night I finally got around to watching the stunning documentary Man on Wire, chronicling Frenchman Philippe Petit’s astonishing 1974 tight-wire walk between the recently erected twin towers of New York City’s World Trade Center. deanwiles / Foter / CC BY-SACenter. The feat took years to plan (not to mention a lifetime of practice on Petit’s part).Read more
The root of resolutions
hnnbz / Foter / CC BY Everyone told me their resolutions last week. It was nice. I see the sharing as an invitation (to help, to push, to hold accountable). This week, I’m following through, and thinking about the root of resolutions: resolute. Resolute It’s less flashy, resolute. The architect designs the building–beautiful, sweeping, innovative–andRead more
Other people, who are a pain in the ass
The Cabin On The Road / Foter / CC BY-SA When I was a freshman in college things were bad, and I dragged myself to therapy. I’d stopped being able to cope with the depression I’d just barely coped with most of my life. College was hard, and I didn’t have a clue. There wasRead more
If a tweet falls in the woods…
If a tweet’s sent but there’s no one there to read it, was there ever really a tweet? What I find myself thinking this week, as more and more bits of news trickle out regarding the suicide of Rutger’s University freshman Tyler Clementi, is this: Whom did Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei intend to watchRead more
It Gets Better*
*Only if WE make it better Like so many of you, I’ve been devastated by the stories in the news the last several weeks of gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-gender and questioning young people committing suicide. While the suicides, of course, are not new (how many suicides have happened over the years without it being knownRead more
What you do next
You’ve just put your foot in your mouth. Stepped in it. Given into a hurtful impulse. Blown your top. What matters, however, is what you do next. In fact, it’s the only thing that matters. Some people spend a lifetime regretting a wrong move, a mistake, a missed opportunity. Feeling bad? Showing remorse? Punishing yourself?Read more
“It’ll take time”
There are few trite phrases that bug me more than the common rejoinder to a sharing of loss, grief, or sadness–the words “It’ll take time.” Hard-boiling an egg takes about 10 minutes; a haircut takes about a half hour; college typically about 4 years. All of this varies a bit, depending on how hard youRead more