We all have plenty of garbage. Painful stuff from the past, whether it’s harm that was done to us, mistakes we’ve made or bouts of bad luck that set us back. Crap. Baggage. Stuff. What I’m puzzled by is the way so many of us seem to cling tightly to the garbage, as though itRead more
The funks (Or: When you forget)
What makes funks challenging is that it feels like everything is wrong and broken and will stay that way forever. It’s pretty unlikely that that’s true, of course. The challenge (as in many instances, such as here, here, here and here) is to live (be, perform) in a way that’s other than how you feel.Read more
Shopping for criticism
The world will always be able to present you with an endless supply of people who will tell you there’s something wrong with you. If you’re looking for it, any old stroll down a Manhattan sidewalk will leave you liable to bump into any number of people who’ll gladly offer their critique: You’re walking tooRead more
Trimming the emotional fat
Nic Taylor Photography / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND When you buy food by the pound, you don’t want to pay for the parts you’re not going to eat. While I’m told a little fat adds flavor (I’m an open-minded vegetarian, but a vegetarian none-the-less) you don’t want to pay for ounces of the stuff thatRead more
You’re into suffering. Stop it.
You’re into suffering the way some people are into cricket or knitting. It’s a hobby. A pastime. Knock it off. Seriously, it’s remarkable how many people can seemingly sustain themselves with suffering. By asserting that being into suffering has no value I don’t wish to deny the very real presence of suffering of all kinds;Read more
Tough ain’t mean
Rooners Toy Photography / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Being tough is not the same thing as being mean. In fact, the people who are most likely to think your toughness is mean are often exactly the people with whom you most need to be tough. When people you count on aren’t making themselves available, it’sRead more
Available
Fouquier ॐ / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Available means not committed elsewhere in such a way that would interfere with being committed here. Available means ready or willing to get ready. Available means on-board for what’s ahead, including that what’s ahead is unknown and could change at any moment. Available is way more than showingRead more
Code yellow! (Or: irritability part 2)
HD41117 / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA I got a great comment on my recent post Lessons on irritability from the dentist. Mike writes: Seriously, I think the hard part is that it requires an awareness, a mindfulness, of when we are in danger of blowing up. For myself, the times when I lash out atRead more
I don’t deserve this
drbexl / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA This is one of the few phrases I can think of that we use variably for both really good and really lousy events in our lives: Being honored by your peers. Getting laid off. Finding a great man or woman and falling in love. Discovering your partner is cheatingRead more
Lessons on irritability from the dentist
Nationaal Archief / Foter / No known copyright restrictions I spent much of last two weeks reclined in a chair at the Tribeca Dental Studio just a few blocks from my office (4 visits, actually–punishment for going too long without paying the dentist a visit). Just like you, I hate going to the dentist. I’mRead more