Dating Apps Help Us Talk About Who You’re Attracting And Attracted To While it may not be what brings them into therapy, a good portion of my work with most patients includes looking at their relationship history, examining what went wrong with specific people, identifying patterns, and talking about how to make better choices inRead more
Neglect is Sexy
Why Do People Find Neglect Sexy In Relationships? Most people have had a relationship–or at the very least, seen their friends in one–in which they’re chasing the other person for their affection, attention, and time. From the outside, these relationships can seem perplexing. But from the inside, people are often strongly hooked in. Why? IRead more
Don’t Hide After A Breakup: You Need Your Friends, Family, And Therapist
Breaking Up Is Painful And Isolating: A Team Of Your Friends, Family, And Therapist Can Provide Support As a therapist, I see how people want to hide after a breakup. Often they are embarrassed, feeling at a loss, or that life as they know it doesn’t make sense or compare to their peers. There’s alsoRead more
Love is Always Conditional
The Myth of Unconditional Love Can Keep Couples In Unsafe Relationships Patients frequently talk to me in therapy about their expectations of unconditional love in their romantic relationships, as well as the struggle of giving or receiving it. When I respond with, “Well, love is always conditional,” I’m consistently met with shock. That response isRead more
What Is The Role Of Love In Therapy?: Two NYC Therapists Discuss
Heather Mayone Kiely: One of the first things I noticed about how you approach couples therapy was your deep belief in love and in the relationship. You seem to really identify and connect quickly with a couple’s strengths, becoming a very powerful source for love and the relationship. It’s almost as if the relationship isRead more
Hey Busy Couples: The Enemy Is Stress, Not Each Other
We’re Alienated From Stress, Both In Our Culture At Large And Our Relationships For couples in which one or both partners are under stress, it can be easy to turn that frustration onto the other partner. Most people don’t have others they can get mad at, so their partner becomes the person who they canRead more
When Breaking Up Is The Best Hardest Decision
While Painful, Breaking Up Can Sometimes Be The Healthiest Option For A Couple There are a lot of situations that push couples through my door–infidelity, conflict, and co-parenting struggles are just a few. Most of the time, though, couples are asking me, either explicitly or implicitly, to help them stay together. They want to workRead more
Yin and Yang Can Be Oil And Water (Or Baking Soda And Vinegar)
From Yin and Yang To Peas and Carrots: Opposite Clichés Are Popular Romance Shorthand, But They’re Also Fraught Yin and yang can be oil and water, or baking soda and vinegar. Peas and carrots can be like cats and dogs. As a couples therapist, I’ve heard all the cliché opposites romance metaphors. The status ofRead more
More Than Roses: Teaching Men How To Be Close To Their Female Partners
Men, Finding Intimacy With Your Female Partner Takes More Than Flowers Before I became a therapist, I was already teaching men how to be close and find intimacy with their female partners. When I was in high school, I talked to the football players about not just getting their girlfriends roses for Valentine’s Day byRead more
Tribeca Therapy’s Kelly Scott On The Counseling Style Of The ‘Big Little Lies’ Therapist In INSIDER
As therapists, we often watch television and film depictions of therapy with a lot of interest, and sometimes skepticism. Case in point: Dr. Reisman, the therapist in HBO’s popular show Big Little Lies. Responding to others’ critiques of Dr. Reisman’s judgmental attitude toward her patients, INSIDER recently reached out to our therapist Kelly Scott toRead more
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