This is a bad metaphor for marriage: This is a much better one: Thoughts?
Diversifying your (relationship) portfolio: Pop songs lie
Iman Mosaad / Foter / CC BY-SA I’m not much of a stocks and bonds guy, but practicing therapy not far from NYC’s financial district, I’ve learned a few things about investing from some of my patients. Among the more straightforward pecuniary principles is the notion of a diversified portfolio. The idea is that, noRead more
“Just like me”
I got an email this morning from someone in New York who found my website searching for group therapy. He said a few things about himself, what he’s struggling with, and then wrote, “I’m looking for a therapy group with people just like me.” I was touched. It was clear that this guy spends mostRead more
Know thyself? Not so fast
bencrowe / Foter / CC BY Several months ago I wrote about the imperative of giving up your expertise on you. While there are certain things you know pretty well about yourself, there’s a not-so-modest basket of things where you are in, perhaps, the worst position to see what’s really going on. It’s one ofRead more
But why?
Last night I finally got around to watching the stunning documentary Man on Wire, chronicling Frenchman Philippe Petit’s astonishing 1974 tight-wire walk between the recently erected twin towers of New York City’s World Trade Center. deanwiles / Foter / CC BY-SACenter. The feat took years to plan (not to mention a lifetime of practice on Petit’s part).Read more
Two meanings of catastrophe
I’ve had a number of conversations in the past few weeks with folks who’s lives, in one way or another, are falling apart. Being a psychotherapist, it’s not so unusual. What seems different is in just how many of these cases what fell apart needed to fall apart: A pursuit of a PhD 9 yearsRead more
Other people, who are a pain in the ass
The Cabin On The Road / Foter / CC BY-SA When I was a freshman in college things were bad, and I dragged myself to therapy. I’d stopped being able to cope with the depression I’d just barely coped with most of my life. College was hard, and I didn’t have a clue. There wasRead more
The Case for $320,000 Kindergarten Teachers (from the NY Times)
I’ve been excited about this article from the New York Times for weeks. Basically, a group of researchers at Harvard “found” some credible evidence for more-than modest implications of a high-quality kindergarten teacher over the life of a child. By implications, of course, this is to say that the team of economists measured the impactRead more
A work weekend
Recently a patient of mine reluctantly flew home for her sister’s whirlwind wedding. Reluctantly because, as is often the case with adult siblings, she and her sister don’t get along. Over the years she’s felt taken for granted, and history repeated itself as plans came together for the wedding. Without even receiving a proper invitation,Read more
Taken for granted
There are two meanings of the phrase taken for granted. The first, often maligned, is the tendency to take a friend, or a job, or a partner, or a loved one “for granted,” meaning to neglect the responsibilities that go with having those relationships, and assuming those relationships will be present and available regardless ofRead more