Some of the hardest work for parents is to tolerate that their children can both be wonderful and do things that aren’t so wonderful. However, this fact, along with the need to name and, when necessary, give consequences for bad behavior, is a key piece of raising kids who aren’t spoiled. Our Founder and ClinicalRead more
We Encourage People to Break up with Abusive Partners: We Should Do the Same for People Estranged from Families
In a culture that advocates for people to separate from abusive partners, estrangement is still taboo “Tell me about your family. Are you super close with them? What are your parents like? Siblings?” “Actually, I’m not really in contact with my family of origin…I’ve been estranged from them for the past several years.” “Oh…” DesperateRead more
The Holidays Can Raise Conflicting Feelings About Families: We Should Feel Them All
When choosing whether or not to go home for the holidays, there is a tendency to ignore feelings that conflict with our decisions As the end of the year rolls around, the much-awaited (and often much-dreaded) holiday season arrives faster than anyone is prepared for. Along with it comes big decisions about whether or notRead more
Your Teenager Is Cooler Than You
Teens’ interests that parents see as odd are not just one of the greatest sources of life force: They’re also profoundly cool In my work as a therapist to both teenagers and their parents, parents frequently express concern—or roll their eyes—about their teens’ “weird” niche interests, styles, or views about the world and worry aboutRead more
We Teach Our Kids Not to Talk About Difficult Topics—That’s a Mistake
Kids know more than we think: Leaving them alone with fears risks them becoming adults skilled at forgetting scary things Kids know and observe a lot more than we imagine, from fairly benign topics to scary ones. There is a sort of unconscious deal that parents make with children. Parents pretend kids don’t overhear theirRead more
Going Home for the Holidays: Advice From a Therapist on Not Just Enduring Your Crazy Family
Painful family dynamics reemerge during the holidays: Reflect on them rather than just enact them Every year around the holiday season, patients shrug and say to me, “My family is crazy,” or, another variation, “My family is weird,” before setting out to simply endure the holidays. Of course, those little words—“crazy” and “weird”—can stand inRead more
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Addresses Parents’ Complicated Feelings About Their Young Adults’ Return to School on All Of It with Alison Stewart
Excitement, loss, anxiety, relief—parents can wrestle with a whole host of complicated emotions when their young adult child leaves home for college. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist returned to WNYC’s All Of It with Alison Stewart to discuss how parents can make room for all of their sometimes conflicting feelings as their kidsRead more
How Parents and Adult Children Can Navigate Living Together: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Healthline
Since the pandemic, an increasing amount of parents and adult children have decided to live together. While there is often much discussion about these relationships grating on both the adult children and their parents, these arrangements can often be beneficial. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be navigated with clarity and care.Read more
What to Do When Everyone’s Talking About You (Except They’re Not, Mostly): Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in The Cut
There’s a saying in 12-step programs and other self-help that other people’s opinions about you are none of your business. This is a good rule to follow, but like many rules, believing in its importance doesn’t necessarily solve the problem. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist was recently featured in The Cut, addressing howRead more
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Featured on NPR
As family therapists, including family therapy for aging parents, we’ve witnessed the emotional impact on families when an older parent with dementia or other cognitive difficulties struggles to maintain their own finances. Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist appeared on NPR to explain what money issues can mean emotionally for an older parent and theRead more
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