The first rule of anxiety therapy: Anxiety is something we produce, and an important part of life
Anxiety therapy is likely the most common form of therapy sought by those who call our NYC therapy center for an in-person psychotherapy appointment at our Lower Manhattan and Park Slope, Brooklyn offices or for phone and video therapy sessions. Anxiety can be painful and even crippling, dramatically interfering with one's ability to create one's life.
As with many emotional experiences that can get out of control, anxiety has, in its origins, an important adaptive function as part of our emotional lives. This is crucial to understand in anxiety therapy. When we take on a new challenge or when a challenge is presented to us, a modest amount of anxiety (or even a good deal of anxiety, in cases of serious challenges) is expected, can be helpful, and doesn't need to be treated with anxiety therapy. Unfortunately, it can be hard to sort out just when anxiety is helpful and just when it calls for anxiety therapy. What's critical is this: if you're creating your life, taking on new challenges, doing things that are a bit too hard for you (an important part of growing!), then you can bet you're going to be anxious. It is essential to recognize this anxiety as something you've produced, as a result of having put yourself in a position to grow. When you own the anxiety, it can become less scary--it's a part of you, not something that is happening to you.
In still other cases, anxiety gets out of control and anxiety therapy is called for. While every therapy for anxiety is different, we tend to see helping people grow in relation to their anxiety in therapy as involving two parallel tracks. The first involves learning concrete techniques in anxiety therapy for managing anxiety as it comes (including when it's always or nearly always present). These include getting skilled at recognizing triggers, identifying the process of anxiety that is building early in its process, and making changes in behavior and thinking, which can include self-talk, creating distractions, reaching out to others who can help tackle the anxiety, and making use of physical exercise. The second track in anxiety therapy involves a broader exploration of what it means to create a life where anxiety has an increasingly smaller and smaller place. Typically, questions posed in this part of anxiety therapy are: What relationships and conditions are helping to cause the anxiety? What habits make you vulnerable to anxiety? What is the relationship between anxiety and difficulties with getting close to others?