Therapy-speak is our collective emotional language Boundaries, narcissism, trauma, anxious, manic, neurotic, so OCD—it seems impossible to escape therapy-speak these days. Earlier this year, The New Yorker dedicated an issue to therapy, observing, “The language of the therapist’s office percolates in our everyday conversations.” They’re right—therapy-speak is our collective emotional language. Though it can beRead more
Is the Patient the Expert in Therapy?
“The patient is the expert,” but therapists should not overlook the misguidedness of individuals trying to resolve their own suffering Most therapists claim, “The patient is the expert” (Actually, they’d almost surely say, “The client is the expert,” which I consider part of the same problematic). On the surface, this is a fairly uncontroversial statement.Read more
Climate Anxiety: What Role Do Therapists Have to Play?
Climate change is an emotional issue that raises questions about what therapy is for A recent New York Times Magazine article, “Climate Change Is Keeping Therapists Up at Night,” documents how therapists are confronting patients’ anxiety related to the present and pending horrors of climate change. As the article makes clear, climate change is veryRead more
Feeling Bad in a Useful Way: An Argument Against Comfort
Avoiding pain is a primary motivation for all humans—therapists included One needn’t read Freud or Darwin (both of whom have a lot to say on the subject) to understand that avoiding pain is a primary motivation for all human beings. Pavlov can suffice: I touch the hot stove, it hurts, and so, I avoid touchingRead more
The Real Issue with Boundaries in Therapy
Boundaries are needed in therapy, but we should also consider what we are walling out Like all relationships, boundaries are necessary in therapy. When I consider navigating boundaries as a therapist, I often think of Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall,” best known for its line, “Good fences make good neighbors”: “Before I built a wallRead more
Troubled Teen Programs Should Be a Last Resort: Less Authority Is More for Teens
Troubled teen programs are the logical, furthest extension of authority A recent New York Times editorial, “The Troubled-Teen Industry Offers Trauma, Not Therapy,” argues for more regulatory oversight and best practices for troubled teen programs, some of which have been exposed in recent years for abuse. The troubled teen industry, the teen wilderness treatment industry,Read more
College Students, You Want to Separate Your Therapy From Your School
College is a highly emotional transition, yet most college health centers can only offer triage In our therapy with college students, we often see young adults who are struggling turn to their schools’ health centers for mental health care. As writer Sofia Barnett argues in a recent Teen Vogue editorial, college students frequently find theseRead more
Feeling Safe and Being Safe Aren’t the Same Thing (And It’s Often Hard to Tell the Difference)
There is an important distinction between feeling safe and being safe “Everyone has a right to feel safe.” “I want you to feel really safe in my office.” These are things I often hear from other therapists and I find myself cringing in response. While there are worthwhile underlying values of safety inherent in theseRead more
This Happened to Me, but It Isn’t Who I Am (Or Is It?)
It was just so unlike me, my life In the opening scene of HBO’s 2021 Tina Turner documentary, Tina, the Queen of Rock settles in for her interview with a reluctance observable throughout the film, one that characterizes, seemingly, her very participation in the film itself. If viewers know much about Turner beyond the headlinesRead more
Is COVID Still Affecting Couples’ Priorities and Influencing Divorce?: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Buzzfeed
Whether pushing partners in casual relationships to suddenly move in together or creating tension as couples were forced to coexist in cramped apartments, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly altered many couples’ relationships. Even more than three years later, these impacts are still apparent, including influencing some couples’ decisions to divorce. Our Founder and Clinical Director MattRead more
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