Your Partner Badly Needs Therapy–What Now? I’m not one of those therapists who thinks everyone should go to therapy. Some people value the benefits of lower anxiety or better work performance. They use therapy to recover from trauma and be okay in the world. For others, it’s not their cup of tea. They may feelRead more
Affairs Are More Than Sex: Seeing Beyond The Cheating Through Therapy
In Therapy, An Affair Is More Than Just Sex When working with patients who are having or had affairs in my NYC therapy practice, an affair isn’t just about sex. Yes, sex may (or may not) have started the affair, but that’s never the entire story. More than just one cheat, an affair is aRead more
Tribeca Therapy Quoted in 4 National Publications this Week (And Page 1 of the WSJ)
This week was a big week for our therapy practice in the national media. Starting with a fun read for couples in Refinery29 about the importance of cuddling, our director Matt was quoted in four different articles. The pieces range from the lighthearted to the timely–Greatist’s essay on the complexity of naming abusers is particularly significant. It’s alsoRead more
Men, Listen Up!: How Men Need To Develop In Light Of The Conversation About Sexual Harassment And Assault
Sexual Harassment And Sexual Assault Are A Cultural Problem–Male Privilege Is Part Of That In “The Unexamined Brutality of the Male Libido,” recently published in The New York Times, Stephen Marche argues that men need to reexamine, what he calls, “the often ugly and dangerous nature of the male libido” in light of the currentRead more
How An Equal Distribution Of Labor Can Fight A Couple’s Anxiety
French comic artist Emma illustrates what feminists refer to as the “mental load” in her cartoon “You Should’ve Asked.” It shows a heterosexual couple in which the woman is responsible for organizing and delegating household and childcare tasks. She is shown in several scenarios working, planning, and scurrying about while her male partner sits idlyRead more
Beyond Understanding: Doing Curious In Therapy
Understanding Isn’t The Only Goal In Therapy In psychotherapy, there’s an implicit bias toward understanding in a scientific sense. Through therapy, you come to understand some fact or set of facts that is hidden from view. The assumption is often, but not always, that through understanding, you will feel better. Sometimes, in my NYC therapyRead more
Financial Couples Therapy: 6 Things Money Can Be In Your Relationship
In Financial Couples Therapy, Money Counts Money matters in your relationship and in financial couples therapy. The assertion that money is frivolous or silly is a fairly privileged assumption. Money gives us access to food and shelter, provides our children with opportunities, can keep us healthy and safe, and can be a critical part ofRead more
Culture Matters In Couples Therapy
Culture Matters, Even For Couples Of The “Same Culture” In my couples therapy practice, I often say to couples that we are all in and of a culture. How you see the world and how decisions are made about issues like monogamy, raising children, sharing a home, etc. are all cultural matters. Which is toRead more
What Can Monogamous Couples Learn From Couples In Open Relationships?
Monogamous Couples Can Learn From Non-Monogamous Couples In Couples Therapy Can couples in open relationships teach monogamous couples a thing or two about navigating and maintaining a partnership? It might seem like a strange question, but in my NYC couples therapy practice, I see how couples in open relationships, by stepping outside of the acceptedRead more
Intimacy And Sex Aren’t The Same Thing
Conflating Sex And Intimacy Is A Mistake In my NYC therapy practice, I often see patients–both individuals and couples–who confuse sex and intimacy. But, sex and intimacy aren’t the same thing. There’s intimate sex and un-intimate sex. There’s intimacy without sex and sex without intimacy. For some, especially young people and those less experienced withRead more
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