Phone Therapy and Video Chat Therapy Can Be A Way To Connect When Struggling With Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness are pervasive, even in a crowded city like New York, and in our NYC phone and video chat therapy on Zoom and Google Meet, we see these feelings show up in different ways. You don’t have to be alone to feel isolated. Folks still experience intense feelings of loneliness with a roommate that they don’t love, and even within stable and loving families and partnerships that just aren’t meeting certain needs.

Online therapy in New York can be a way to stay connected, while also addressing the emotional experience of loneliness. Here are some things we’ve frequently heard in our remote therapy sessions related to loneliness and isolation: 

I’m feeling lonely. Should I just socialize more or do more Zoom calls?

Maybe, but maybe not. If you’re the type of person that tends to caretake for your loved ones, it might make it hard for you to get your needs met through group happy-hours, birthday parties or even, one-on-one connections. You might actually be expending valuable energy monitoring the wellbeing of other people in the group or trying to say the right thing to your friend.

In teletherapy and video therapy, we tailor the remote therapy session to meet your emotional and relational needs in a way that a loving but overwhelmed friend just doesn’t have the bandwidth to do. Establishing a relationship with an online therapist who is reliable and supportive can be a vital resource to help you feel less alone.

I like being alone. The COVID-19 quarantine was kind of my dream scenario (I feel guilty saying that), but sometimes my emotions feel really intense and overwhelming.

You are allowed to have liked–and even loved–the forced social isolation during COVID-19. For some, it relieved some intense social pressure that most folks feel these days. Though quarantine restrictions have lifted, some people aren’t quite ready to get back to a busy social schedule. But people who love to be separate might actually be prone to feeling loneliness more intensely than others because they have a hard time seeking out interpersonal comfort. Mood swings, increased irritability, or the pressure of “overwhelming emotions” might be signals that you’re taking on too much stress by yourself, and need some help to both manage it and relieve yourself of the weight of it all. A phone and video chat therapist can help meet some of your needs without feeling as burdensome as it normally might. 

I’m lonely, but I’m not actually alone.

There are plenty of relationships–friendships, romantic relationships, and familial relationships alike–that appear safe, loving, and supportive. Sometimes people point to absence of conflict as evidence of how well a relationship is functioning. However, folks can still feel lonely in these relationships just like someone who is physically alone; in fact, people more often repress their feelings of loneliness in this case because they feel like the loneliness is not warranted or deserved.

Feeling lonely while surrounded by people can indicate that your relational needs are not being met in some way. This may be related to a shortcoming in the people around you or a way that you are blocking intimacy, caretaking, or connection. Teletherapy or video therapy can help identify the root of this loneliness, after which you can ask for, take, or supplement what you need from the existing relationships in your life.

Matt Lundquist headshot

Meet our founder and clinical director, Matt Lundquist, LCSW, MSEd

A Columbia University-trained psychotherapist with more than two decades of clinical experience, I've built a practice where my team and I help individuals, couples, and families get help to work through difficult experiences and create their lives.

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