Cisnormative Expectations Don’t Have to Lead When You’re Building a Family
At Tribeca Maternity, we talk to patients about all the ways our overwhelmingly cisnormative culture affects them. This is especially true when it comes to having a baby: pink or blue, gender reveal parties, gendered outfits, toys, etc. We don’t believe cisgender culture should lead when making decisions about building a family—for any individual, couple, or family, but particularly for trans, gender-nonconforming, or nonbinary folks.
In therapy at our Tribeca offices, as well as our online therapy sessions, we help trans and nonbinary individuals and couples talk before, during, and after pregnancy about how you envision your family so you can build the family that’s right for you. We should note that we’re fluent in trans and nonbinary issues (you don’t need to explain your pronouns to us), but we also aren’t afraid to ask questions (we won’t assume your pronouns).
We Won’t Let You Lose Yourself in Your Choice to Build a Family
Given the cisnormative presumptions around having a baby, it can be easy to lose yourself and your identity in the process. But you and your partner have a choice in how to have a baby. We help you make decisions that are right for you, including:
- The choice to stop or not stop hormones
- Breast binding in relation to pregnancy and breastfeeding
- Surrogacy or adoption (even if you or a partner could carry a baby)
- Choosing to have or not have a baby
- Finding trans and nonbinary affirmative doctors and other providers, as well as navigating doctors and other providers that aren’t accommodating or are outright transphobic
Pregnancy Can Change How You See Your Body and Gender Identity
If you and/or your partner are trans, gender-nonconforming, or nonbinary, you’ve probably had to talk about your body much more than cisgender folks do. And for trans and nonbinary people, trying to conceive, pregnancy, and postpartum impact your body in a different way. Not only does it change the shape of your body, it can also alter the way you see your body, your gender, how you have sex, how you understand your sexiness, etc. In therapy, we’ll talk about your and your partner’s body as much as you need to, including:
- What transitioning feels like to you and how this has changed during pregnancy
- How you and your partner feel about the way you have sex now
- When to stop hormones
- How you relate to your own body or your partner’s body
- How past experiences of rape, sexual assault, and sexual trauma might be raised during this time
Traditional Gender Roles Are a Vortex, Particularly During Pregnancy and Postpartum: We Help You Reorganize
Particularly when having a baby, gender norms become a vacuum. It can be easy to get sucked into that vortex, even for trans and nonbinary folks. At Tribeca Maternity, we believe it’s essential to talk about how traditional gender norms come against your own values in order to organize how you choose to do family. We make space to unpack, through the lens of gender:
- How you and your partner do gender
- How you balance baby care
- Your new identity as a parent
- Breastfeeding
- The effort to not gender your child