Anger
For Couples, A Simple Rule: You Can't Be Mean
Fighting For Couples Doesn’t Have To Be Mean. Most people are meaner than they realize when they’re upset. Couples therapy helps couples recognize this, but as a couples therapist, I like to go one step further, proposing that people have the capacity not to be mean. One can become aware of it and not give in.For many couples, the idea that fighting doesn’t have to be mean can feel like a breath…
Mar 22, 2018
Stay Angry And Get Creative: An Art Therapist On Being Powerful
Both in and out of my NYC art therapy practice, the anger, fear, anxiety, and panic that people felt around the November election has not died down. If anything, it has increased as the government is acting more threatening towards fundamental human rights and the values of our country. So many people express feeling scared and the desire to find ways to empower themselves.Art as Power!. Politics…
Feb 23, 2017
Emotional Lessons: Teaching Children How to Be Well-Adjusted Adults
Supporting Your Child's Independence. As a parent, your biggest job is to help your children grow into well-adjusted adults. From the moment they learn how to self soothe as infants, you are passing on lessons, big and small, that encourage healthy autonomy.In Slate’s “The Value of a Mess”, writer Jessica Lahey clearly lays out some of these lessons and gives parents a gentle reminder regarding…
May 31, 2016
Group Shaming in the Internet Age: The 21st Century Bystander Effect
The Effect of Groups on Our Capacity to Help. I distinctly remember the first time I learned about social psychology--I was sitting in a large auditorium when my dry Psychology 101 professor clicked his slideshow to an image of NYC in the 60's. As I doodled in the margins of my notebook, my professor began to speak about Kitty Genovese, a woman who was brutally attacked and killed near her home…
Sep 15, 2015
Notes on anger management in NYC
An anger management workshop in NYC with a difference (or so I was told). A few years ago I was invited by a new colleague to an anger management therapy workshop at her therapy practice in NYC. We had connected as therapist colleagues and had some conversations about the practice of therapy in NYC and the conversation drifted to my (cynical) views on the state of anger management therapy in NYC…
Aug 03, 2015
Internalizing External Messages: The Impact on "Problem Children"
Editors Note: We are so pleased to share, for the first time since the launch of our website, the writing of a therapist in our NYC practice who isn't the founder and director, Matt Lundquist. Heather Mayone Kiely is a psychotherapist and Art Therapist who joined the practice in 2012 when we expanded to a larger therapy office. She is a creative and thoughtful observer of human beings and writes…
Jun 19, 2015
If I kicked you in the shin...
...your shin would hurt. And you'd probably be pissed at me. You might even curse. Or kick me back.And if that happened, it wouldn't make much sense to say that you had:A shin problemA pain problemAn anger problem orA kicking problemYou'd have--well, you'd have a some-jerk-just-kicked-me-in-the-shin problem. Which would be a real problem. There's a metaphor here, of course. A therapy metaphor. It…
Apr 02, 2014I am not going to have an emotional relationship with...
...my inbox....my accountant....my student loans....my to-do list....my diet....the ups and downs of my business....traffic....my broken cable box....the instruction manual for assembling this bike.Why not?. Because having an emotional relationship with material conditions, tasks and objects is a bit like dating a toaster. Because they're tasks, responsibilities, phenomena that need thoughtful…
Nov 05, 2012Anger and the accident of Google
Last March I set about building this website. In the "age of the internet" I figured I'd write a lot to give prospective therapy patients in NYC a real taste of what my psychotherapy and group therapy practice has to offer. I wrote about therapy for depression, dating, drugs and alcohol, anxiety therapy--I covered the usual psychotherapy bases (and of course talked a bunch about the merits of…
Aug 29, 2011Browse all Tribeca Therapy topics
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