Blog
What's your specialty?
A couple of years ago I went to a workshop, "Building Your Dream Psychotherapy Practice" at the New York City chapter of NASW (the National Association of Social Workers). At the time I was the director of a group therapy center here in New York and always eager to learn about new ways of promoting the practice. After a lengthy introduction, the workshop facilitator (we'll call her Blue, both…
Nov 02, 2010The Case for $320,000 Kindergarten Teachers (from the NY Times)
I've been excited about this article from the New York Times for weeks. Basically, a group of researchers at Harvard "found" some credible evidence for more-than modest implications of a high-quality kindergarten teacher over the life of a child. By implications, of course, this is to say that the team of economists measured the impact of good teaching in the first year of elementary school on…
Oct 25, 2010
Emotional efficiency (thinking and growing qualitatively; part I)
There's a lot of talk about efficiency. With the advent of smart phones, and all of the capabilities inherent in syncing various parts of our lives, the conversation around efficiency at work and elsewhere has taken off. Websites like Lifehacker are jam packed with useful tips for saving time and spending less money.I spend an awful lot of time thinking about the qualitative parts of life; those…
Oct 23, 2010
If a tweet falls in the woods...
If a tweet's sent but there's no one there to read it, was there ever really a tweet?What I find myself thinking this week, as more and more bits of news trickle out regarding the suicide of Rutger's University freshman Tyler Clementi, is this: Whom did Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei intend to watch that video of Clementi in a sexual encounter with another male student? Aren't they culpable?No doubt…
Oct 22, 2010You're not so special
You're not so special. I mean, I think you're terrific. Truly. I'm a fan. But special? Not so much.Why the distinction? Special means separate, in need of something different, hard to get close to, touch, or help.I resist the label, special, because for me, it's not so nice.Years ago I worked as a special education teacher. Special meant quite a few things. On the one hand, it meant entitled to…
Oct 21, 2010A work weekend
Recently a patient of mine reluctantly flew home for her sister's whirlwind wedding. Reluctantly because, as is often the case with adult siblings, she and her sister don't get along. Over the years she's felt taken for granted, and history repeated itself as plans came together for the wedding. Without even receiving a proper invitation, she was put on the program to read a bible passage at the…
Oct 05, 2010
NYC's rat problem
If you live in New York City, you're aware of our rat problem. They're everywhere. It often seems that newspaper articles about rats in New York City (like this one) are almost as ubiquitous as the rats themselves. It turns out there's been considerable research on the matter of just how to reduce the number of rats, and the conclusion is, perhaps, surprising. It turns out that efforts to reduce…
Aug 23, 2010What you do next
You've just put your foot in your mouth.Stepped in it.Given into a hurtful impulse.Blown your top.What matters, however, is what you do next. In fact, it's the only thing that matters.Some people spend a lifetime regretting a wrong move, a mistake, a missed opportunity. Feeling bad? Showing remorse? Punishing yourself? Just ways of trying to make it look like you care, and all of them…
Aug 12, 2010
Taken for granted
There are two meanings of the phrase taken for granted. The first, often maligned, is the tendency to take a friend, or a job, or a partner, or a loved one "for granted," meaning to neglect the responsibilities that go with having those relationships, and assuming those relationships will be present and available regardless of how much care is given to them. This sort of taking for granted is…
Jul 28, 2010
"It'll take time"
There are few trite phrases that bug me more than the common rejoinder to a sharing of loss, grief, or sadness--the words "It'll take time."Hard-boiling an egg takes about 10 minutes; a haircut takes about a half hour; college typically about 4 years. All of this varies a bit, depending on how hard you like your eggs, how fancy a haircut you're getting, or how many times you change your major.…
Jul 21, 2010
Why TriBeCa?
Let me catch up those of you who aren't familiar with TriBeCa and it's history. TriBeCa is a relatively small neighborhood in Lower Manhattan, New York City. It's boundaries are, roughly, Canal Street on the north, Broadway to the east, and the World Trade Center to the south. Its name, invariably spelled TriBeCa or Tribeca (I prefer TriBeCa, even though it's more work to type), is a portmanteau…
Jul 16, 2010
On the subject of being (emotionally) small
Small can be a wonderful thing: A small stature, small meals; even a small New York City apartment can have its charms. Not so for being emotional small. What's that? It's constantly selling yourself short, saying "no" out of fear or self doubt, or maybe out of not wanting to work very hard. Small is deciding what the outcome of trying new things will be before you even try. Small is not hoping…
Jul 15, 2010Browse all Tribeca Therapy topics
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