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The Politics Of Therapy (Yes, There Are)
We Often Take Therapists’ Politics For Granted. Many of us take therapists’ politics for granted. We think that either politics shouldn’t matter in the therapy room or we should just expect that our therapists will be with it. Often people seeking therapy think:“In a place like New York, pretty much all therapists are liberal.”“Therapists see everything. Of course, they’re going to be savvy about…
Nov 16, 2017
Tuesday, October 31st
On Tuesday, October 31, a terrorist, driving a rented truck, entered the bike path along the West Side Highway, running over several cyclists and coming to a stop as he rammed into a school bus. Three New York City public schools–Stuyvesant High School, P.S. 89 and I.S. 89–were all just feet from the final collision and dozens of children and their parents watched as the driver exited the truck,…
Nov 07, 2017
Doing While You're Depressed
Depression Can Make Even Basic Tasks, From Getting Out Of Bed To Going To Therapy, Seem Impossible. I frequently see patients with depression struggling with immobilization and feeling stuck in my NYC therapy practice. When you’re depressed, it’s often hard to even do the basics. With depression, you can feel hopeless, sad and numb. All of these things can make getting out of bed, brushing your…
Oct 12, 2017
Subway Therapy Helps New Yorkers Cope After Charlottesville
[caption id="attachment_4973" align="alignleft" width="257"] Matthew "Levee" Chavez, Subway Therapy. Courtesy of Matthew "Levee" Chavez, via Instagram.[/caption]In my NYC therapy office, so many of my patients continue to express dismay, horror, and fear over the racism and bigotry that has boiled over in our country. Most recently, the violent white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia…
Oct 05, 2017
How To Find The Right Therapist? Own Your Own Therapy
Finding The Right Therapist Isn’t About Having A Preformed Idea Of The Therapeutic Process. In her recent New York Times article “How To Find The Right Therapist,” writer Marissa Miller documented her three-year search for, as she calls, “The One”–the right therapist. Reading her advice to fellow therapy seekers, it seemed to me, as an NYC therapist, that Miller made some presumptions about good…
Sep 21, 2017
Want To Make A Difference With Teens, In Or Out Of Therapy? Focus On Influence
Having Influence With Teens Is Essential Both In Therapy And Out. Being close with teens is important, but it’s not the magic sauce. Or perhaps it’s best to say, there’s magic sauce in being close in that it can allow for influence. Influence is where it’s at for any relationship. For therapists, parents and anyone who cares about a teen, the primary question is: how can we influence teens to…
Sep 14, 2017
Parenting A Teen With Panic Attacks
Getting Close Is The Key To Parenting Teens With Panic Attacks. Working with both teens and parents of teens as an NYC therapist, I often see parents feel lost when their teen suffers from panic attacks. Not only are parents unsure of how to deal with panic attacks, but they can also struggle with understanding what causes them–a build-up of overwhelming anxiety. Panic attacks are a physical…
Sep 07, 2017
From Safe Touch to Saying No: An NYC Therapist On Talking To Your Kid To Prevent Sexual Abuse
As A Therapist And Parent, I Know Tough Conversations With Your Child Can Prevent Sexual Abuse. In addition to being an NYC therapist, I’m also a father and I recently had to talk to my daughter about sexual abuse, safe touch and saying no. These conversations are never fun–they can be tough for both children and parents (They can even be difficult to write about in a blog format). But, it’s…
Aug 31, 2017
Beyond Understanding: Doing Curious In Therapy
Understanding Isn’t The Only Goal In Therapy. In psychotherapy, there’s an implicit bias toward understanding in a scientific sense. Through therapy, you come to understand some fact or set of facts that is hidden from view. The assumption is often, but not always, that through understanding, you will feel better. Sometimes, in my NYC therapy practice, this is true.However, there are…
Aug 24, 2017
Financial Couples Therapy: 6 Things Money Can Be In Your Relationship
In Financial Couples Therapy, Money Counts. Money matters in your relationship and in financial couples therapy. The assertion that money is frivolous or silly is a fairly privileged assumption. Money gives us access to food and shelter, provides our children with opportunities, can keep us healthy and safe, and can be a critical part of giving us options. Money can also be a location of…
Aug 17, 2017
13 Ways "13 Reasons Why" Expands The Conversation On Teens And Mental Health
"13 Reasons Why" Can Be A Jumping-Off Point To Discuss Real Issues Facing Teens. As an NYC therapist who works with teens, I couldn’t ignore the polarized response to the depiction of teens, mental health and suicide in Netflix’s show 13 Reasons Why. The show centers around high school junior Hannah Baker who leaves thirteen tapes to thirteen people, explaining what led up to the day she killed…
Aug 14, 2017
Yes, People Do Change (Just Not Everyone): An NYC Therapist's Thoughts On Change
In Therapy, The Issue Of Change Is Both Complex And Essential. As a NYC therapist and a human who believes in growth, I can’t imagine an issue of more concern to me than change. My ideas about change can be broken down into a three-part thesis: People change. The world changes. People can change themselves and the world.On the one hand, these seem like simple and self-apparent statements, but the…
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