Blog
What's remarkable is that we make it.
The last few days have been remarkable in so many ways. New York is a city largely shut down, even days after Sandy blew through town. My therapy office has been without power all week, and many areas in the region are underwater, flooded, burned or literally blown away. I've seen New Yorkers waiting in lines for hours to catch buses to work or to fill up their cars with gas. I've seen a…
Nov 02, 2012
Don't call it luck
Last week I moved into a beautiful new office. It's been tremendous--both the volume of work and the volume of joy. It's a terrific move for me and my practice.I've been feeling all sorts of things: proud, joyous, a bit nervous (bigger space=bigger rent). Though it only just occurred to me as I read this morning's paper that I didn't, in the least, feel lucky.The New York Times ran a bio piece on…
Apr 02, 2012
Diagnosis in therapy: The joke's on you
A new prisoner is escorted to his cell, on a block with a lot of old timers. A few minutes after lights out, one of them calls out, "17!" and the others roar with laughter. Moments later another cries, "41!." Laughter bellows through the cell block.This continues sporadically for several minutes until, at a brief lull, the puzzled newcomer asks his cellmate, "I don't get it. What's so funny?"His…
Feb 06, 2012
Beyond managed care: Out-of-network psychotherapy in NYC
For the purpose of this conversation, psychotherapists in NYC (the market is quite different elsewhere) can be roughly divided into two camps: those who accept insurance as an in-network provider and those who do not.When we talk about psychotherapists, by the way, we're including a whole lot of folks: psychologists, psychiatrists, clinical social workers, marriage and family therapists, even…
Jan 09, 2012
When People Hate You on Yelp
Bad reviews online stink. Google, or Reddit, or Glassdoor...I won't lie. It's upsetting, and you're going to have a lot of reactions. For one, it seems like someone really doesn't like you.You'll worry, too, about the consequences: Will people be afraid to call you for your services? Will your current clients spot this and begin to wonder about their choice to work with you? Will colleagues see…
Jan 02, 2012
"Astoria for grief" and the managed-care swap meet
You can imagine my momentary confusion on spotting this subject line from an unfamiliar email address:"Astoria for grief."The title reminded me of one of those 1970's only-in-NYC thrillers, like The Taking of Pelham 123, or The French Connection, or even the Spider-Man series, and I began to envision a hospice-worker protagonist rushing to catch the Queens-bound R train, then dodging behind seats…
Oct 31, 2011
Optimism v. pessimism? Bo-ring! The real question is, are you an activist or a passivist?
Every now and then I get accused of something truly awful: Being an optimist.I object (strenuously) not because the real story is that I'm a pessimist (I'm not) but because the very premise of a categorization of optimist versus pessimist is grounded in passivity.The assumption in the very asking of the question is meant to inquire as to whether or not, generally speaking, you believe your life…
Oct 20, 2011Anger and the accident of Google
Last March I set about building this website. In the "age of the internet" I figured I'd write a lot to give prospective therapy patients in NYC a real taste of what my psychotherapy and group therapy practice has to offer. I wrote about therapy for depression, dating, drugs and alcohol, anxiety therapy--I covered the usual psychotherapy bases (and of course talked a bunch about the merits of…
Aug 29, 2011"Just like me"
I got an email this morning from someone in New York who found my website searching for group therapy. He said a few things about himself, what he's struggling with, and then wrote, "I'm looking for a therapy group with people just like me."I was touched. It was clear that this guy spends most of his life feeling like the oddball. I could relate. For an awful lot of my life I felt the same way,…
May 24, 2011The opposite of moralism isn't amoralism, it's creativity
I'm not a fan or moralism. Morality, yes. What's the difference? Morality, which seems inarguably worthwhile, is about being committed to engaging in a struggle over who we want to be, as human beings. It's the grappling with the questions, large and small, in and among the many relationships in which we exist, about what is the most just way forward. It's more like writing a poem than looking a…
Mar 28, 2011Theraphobia: A therapist walks into a Christmas party
A few years ago at a holiday party in Manhattan, at the home of an actor friend, a giddy young woman asked, "Are you an actor like everyone else here?" I replied: "No, I'm a psychotherapist, actually." "Ah! That's great! Hilarious! So... actor."She walked away, laughing.Being mistaken for an actor was a first, but the walking away part wasn't exactly new. Even in such a seemingly…
Mar 21, 2011
But why?
Last night I finally got around to watching the stunning documentary Man on Wire, chronicling Frenchman Philippe Petit's astonishing 1974 tight-wire walk between the recently erected twin towers of New York City's World Trade Center. The feat took years to plan (not to mention a lifetime of practice on Petit's part). Petit and his crew of supporters plotted every detail of the seemingly…
Feb 22, 2011Browse all Tribeca Therapy topics
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