This past month, both our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist and Senior Therapist Kelly Scott were quoted in two Business Insider advice columns on relationships and dating. The articles are a part of Insider’s resident sex and relationships reporter Julia Naftulin’s ongoing column that answers readers’ questions by consulting with a panel of experts including relationship therapists like Matt and Kelly.
Most recently, Kelly helped answer a question from a reader who explains he has trouble dating because he’s sober. From his experience, he says women find his decision to not drink a turn-off. Addressing his observation of women thinking his sobriety is a turn-off, Kelly asserts that while disappointing, it may actually be a helpful thing to learn early on so he doesn’t have to waste time with someone who isn’t a good fit. “You’re getting everything you need to know from them…Keep it moving and be grateful that person showed their hand so soon,” Kelly observes.
What is Kelly’s advice for dating while sober? She says in Business Insider that a useful question to ask is: “Where am I going to meet people who are like me?” This could mean specifically making his sobriety explicit on dating profiles or seeking other sober daters.
Earlier this month, Matt aided Naftulin in answering a question from a reader who is having an affair with her best friend’s partner who has become manipulative. In particular, the reader wanted to know how to come clean to her friend. Matt suggested that it may be important to both try to understand why she was drawn to this manipulative person in the first place, and gain the support from a friend who isn’t part of the affair while preparing for this difficult conversation. While the conversation about the affair might be challenging, it is doable. Matt notes, “Your friends may be mad at you for awhile…but when people handle these difficult conversations well, friendships and partnerships can endure.”
Read more of “I’m single and sober, but women seemed turned off by my booze-free lifestyle. How can I find love?” and “I’m having an affair with my best friend’s partner, and he’s become manipulative. Should I come clean?” on Business Insider