We’re excited to share that our Senior Therapist Kelly Scott is featured in two recent articles on dating in INSIDER, drawing on her experience as a couples and relationship therapist.
In “Lizzo Says She Has ‘Ghosted People You Would Not Believe,’ and It’s Fine to Cut Someone off if You’re Not Interested,” which was also republished on Yahoo! News, INSIDER uses Lizzo’s assertion during a segment on BBC Radio 1 that she thinks ghosting after two dates is okay as a starting point to talk about ghosting during dating with Kelly weighing in as an expert. Kelly explains that ghosting can be an indication of a fear of conflict. She says, “People are scared of conflict and ashamed of the feelings they have toward people, and don’t want to confront those things, so they run away.”
She also acknowledges that while ghosting is not always personal, being on the receiving end of ghosting can hurt. She asserts, “It’s hard to get over because they assign so much meaning to the reason they were ghosted, like it means ‘I’m not pretty or smart or my body isn’t good enough.’”
For an earlier article, “3 Subtle Signs You’re Dating a ‘F---Boy,” According to Psychologists,” INSIDER talks to Kelly, using the context of HBO Max’s reality show FBoy Island, about how the term “FBoy” often refers to people who date in a transactional manner. Kelly observes that these types of people in relationships frequently use good behavior to their own benefit. When they see motive or opportunity for themselves, they’re kind, and when they don’t, they’re distant. “Whenever there is a choice, they choose themselves and they choose what works for them,” she says.
For those dealing with this one-sided relationship dynamic, Kelly acknowledges it may be “sexy and exciting and thrilling, but it’s really under-protective and self-harming.” She encourages readers to follow their intuition when they have a negative experience and remember they have the power to end an unhealthy relationship.
