Blog

We are a social species. Maybe our therapy should start looking like it.

Q: How come the rents are so high in New York City?A: Because of all the people who want to live there.We are here in NYC because of all of the people, the  jobs, the opportunities to date and build friendships, to experience culture. And yet for most people in NYC their therapy seems not to have noticed.Our sociality is so fundamental to who we are as to be beyond question. Consider whatever it…

No, we don't offer support groups at TriBeCa Therapy

As a therapy center in the heart of New York City that offers several options for group therapy, we get a lot of calls from prospective therapy patients asking if we offer support groups.Nope. No way. Why? Because we don't believe in the premise.There are a lot of modalities of therapy and counseling we're into, and we love group therapy. But the assumption of a support group is that the thing…

Stop listening

Wherever I wander in New York City, people make a lot of assumptions about me as a therapist. People figure I'm psychoanalyzing them (I'm not--I don't even do that in the therapy room). They wonder how I can "handle listening to people's problems all day" and they nearly universally figure I must be a good listener.Maybe I am a good listener. Okay, I am; any therapist should be. But the…

I am not going to have an emotional relationship with...

...my inbox....my accountant....my student loans....my to-do list....my diet....the ups and downs of my business....traffic....my broken cable box....the instruction manual for assembling this bike.Why not?. Because having an emotional relationship with material conditions, tasks and objects is a bit like dating a toaster. Because they're tasks, responsibilities, phenomena that need thoughtful…

What's remarkable is that we make it.

The last few days have been remarkable in so many ways. New York is a city largely shut down, even days after Sandy blew through town. My therapy office has been without power all week, and many areas in the region are underwater, flooded, burned or literally blown away. I've seen New Yorkers waiting in lines for hours to catch buses to work or to fill up their cars with gas. I've seen a…

Inconvenience

"I'm sorry to bother you with all this drama.""I'm your therapist. Bothering me with drama is pretty much the job description."Other professions whose job descriptions include this responsibility: friend, mom, dad, brother, sister.Convenience is great, I suppose. But the best things, well, aren't. A slow cooked sauce, or an out-of-the-way inn in Upstate New York. Therapy's pretty inconvenient,…

Counterintuitive thoughts on giving

Giving is a good thing. You're down with that. Hold doors, remember birthdays, pick up the tab, volunteer to swing the hammer and serve the soup. Good stuff.There are some moves in life that I'm a fan of that aren't what might come to mind when it comes to giving, but I think they're worthy of consideration alongside their more traditional standouts.Asking. Whether it's asking for help reaching…

Don't call it luck

Last week I moved into a beautiful new office. It's been tremendous--both the volume of work and the volume of joy. It's a terrific move for me and my practice.I've been feeling all sorts of things: proud, joyous, a bit nervous (bigger space=bigger rent). Though it only just occurred to me as I read this morning's paper that I didn't, in the least, feel lucky.The New York Times ran a bio piece on…

We're moving (Okay, we moved)

Things to do instead of cutting yourself

You can......make a list of everything you want in your life and email it to someone who cares about you....call one of the many mental health hotline. In NYC you can call 1-800-LIFENET 24 hours a day and get good help over the phone and/ or a quick referral to a therapist you can afford....plan a trip....make a Popsicle-stick boat....cover yourself with body paint....go on Psychology Today's…

A problem of resource delivery

There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look. --Kurt VonnegutI was shocked to learn recently that Uganda is one of the most resource-rich countries in Africa. Foolishly, I'd a assumed that, because of the intense poverty and instability in that country, Uganda surely struggled from a lack of basic resources. Not so. Uganda has arable land and substantial oil and…

Diagnosis in therapy: The joke's on you

A new prisoner is escorted to his cell, on a block with a lot of old timers. A few minutes after lights out, one of them calls out, "17!" and the others roar with laughter. Moments later another cries, "41!." Laughter bellows through the cell block.This continues sporadically for several minutes until, at a brief lull, the puzzled newcomer asks his cellmate, "I don't get it. What's so funny?"His…