We need to talk about the postpartum anxiety that I see in my NYC therapy practice.
Postpartum anxiety is more than worry or nerves. Your anxiety goes through the roof, you're more anxious than not, intensely worried or even panicked–not just because of the sleepless nights or the new demands, but because anxiety is at the forefront of your mind. The phrase “postpartum anxiety” is what many women–and some men–feel in the postpartum life. We need to make it more commonplace knowledge that anxiety can happen after your baby arrives. And it is something that we need to acknowledge exists and then, help those struggling with it get help.
On June 30th, an article “Postpartum Anxiety Might Be Even More Common Than Postpartum Depression (PPD)” by the Huffington Post’s Catherine Pearson made me think about how I approach postpartum anxiety in my therapy practice. Flooding social media feeds, the story focused on Jill Krause, a blogger who thought she had a stroke only to find out it was a panic attack and obsessive thoughts (aka postpartum anxiety). Taking Krause’s story as a starting point, Pearson opens up a larger discussion on the rise of perinatal and postpartum anxiety, suggesting that if we create more awareness we can help women–and their families–sooner.
The message from folks blasting the article on social media was: “Don’t go it alone!” Others are saying: “I went it alone and this happened to me–you don’t have to.” or “It took me months to seek help the first time this happened and for baby number 2, I’m ready.”
What does postpartum life look like?
The internet is awash with articles that talk about feeding schedules, sleep schedules, the importance of “me time,” going on dates, starting to workout again and ways to soothe your new baby. And new moms have lots of opportunities to hang out with other moms, but these contexts may not be places where moms can safely be vulnerable. They may not normalize that moms are struggling with anxiety, panic, or obsessive thoughts. We are not talking enough about the emotional experiences of parents post-baby..
Life with a new baby can be isolating in an unnecessary way. There is a myth around it that needs to be exposed. It’s not just a happy, snuggly time. It’s a time when people commonly suffer. Sometimes, there is a lot of anxiety, excessive worry, panic, isolation, hypervigilance, sadness and thoughts of things happening to your baby.
The world has just started to buzz about postpartum anxiety. Folks dealing with this say: “I can’t slow down my thoughts.” “I’m scared something will happen to the baby.” “I can’t put her down.” “I’m having panic attacks in the middle of night and now, I have them in the day too.” Anxiety is coming from all angles. It’s aggressive and it is all-consuming. Your partner and you may not know what to do.
Maybe you think, “something doesn’t feel right.” Or your partner says, “Hey I know you just had a baby and we are not sleeping, but something doesn’t seem right. We need help.” You are not meant to go it alone just as two people.
While not as widely talked about, your partner could also be experiencing postpartum anxiety. The adjustment to a new pattern can also stressful and isolating for your partner. A partner’s worries increase too.They may be up at night, worried if the baby is breathing and feeling unable to calm down. They, too, may neglect self-care and rest. If both you and your partner are experiencing anxiety, then everyone in the family can feel overwhelmed and the family system as a whole is being taxed.
You may need help with postpartum anxiety
Whether you or your partner have PPA, you need attention. You need help and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with needing attention for something. You’re feeling anxious and no matter if it’s week 1 or month 6 , you need to not go it alone.
The typical postpartum six-week check-up with OB or midwife currently screens for only postpartum depression. This is a problem that both Pearson’s Huffington Post article and the nonprofit organization Postpartum Progress raise. And the truth is the difference between postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression is confusing. They do have some similar symptoms: sleeplessness, lack of appetite, suicidal ideations, and irritability.
However, we need to assess a fuller range of emotional health other than sadness or hopelessness. Increased anxiety should be considered. We need to talk about it more, make a more holistic assessment of women/families postpartum.
Help can come in the form of therapy
First, therapy provides an assessment, which means sitting down together and seeing what has been going on before birth, during birth and post-birth. Then we need to get in there and reorganize. This could take the form of talking about what anxious thoughts or actions you’re having, organizing support in and outside of therapy, behavioral changes, cognitive thought stopping and redirection, bringing in your partner or family and maybe, short-term medication management.
Therapy can be the place to give attention to what is really going on. We won’t let you hide or be alone. We will not only create a plan of action, but also sit and share the experience together. We won’t slot you into only the mom box, but give you the attention you need (even if this is your baby number 2, 3, 4 or 5). We will create a space to support you and your family through this time.
