Couples

We Need To Ask Better Questions Of Each Other: 7 Questions To Ask Young Adults Who Recently Graduated College

March 05, 2020
Young adults.

After College, Young Adults Are In Transition: Asking Better Questions Can Help 

Continuing my series on how to ask better questions in our relationships, young adults who have recently graduated college are at a transitional moment in which asking deeper questions of them can be particularly helpful. Post-college graduation is one of the most unknown, exciting, sad, scary, wonderful and lonely moments of young adults' lives. Often young adults are busy pretending as if they have it all together, acting like they know exactly what they want, how to get it and seeming like they really have a handle on things. Often that’s just not so.

Sometimes young adults need their parents and other adults to be curious and ask them questions, giving them an opportunity to consider the answers for themselves, as well as let others in on their experiences. They need to be held and cared for–not as children, but seen and heard in all their complexities as adults. While recent college grads are, of course, adults, they also need attention in a big way–maybe even more so than they needed when they were in college. Parents and other adults can ask questions to give recent college graduates space to be messy, figuring out their direction in their own time, while also leaving space for hope, resilience and dreaming:

Ask Recent College Graduates:

1. Where do you want to live? Why?
2. What do you want to build by the time you’re 30?
3. What do you want in love and partnership? What is love? What is partnership?
4. Do you want to have a family? How do you want to do that? Or not do that?
5. What do you actually think of your parents and their adulthood? What do you want to do (or not do) similarly?
6. What about the world makes you mad? How do you see adults responsible for this? What do you think they could have done better that they missed? 
7. How does it feel to be in your early 20s? What is exciting? What is scary? What is disappointing? What do you wish you had more help with?

Rachael Benjamin