Blog
The Real Issue with Boundaries in Therapy
Boundaries are needed in therapy, but we should also consider what we are walling out. Like all relationships, boundaries are necessary in therapy. When I consider navigating boundaries as a therapist, I often think of Robert Frost’s poem “Mending Wall,” best known for its line, “Good fences make good neighbors”: “Before I built a wall I’d ask to knowWhat I was walling in or walling outAnd to…
Nov 06, 2023
Troubled Teen Programs Should Be a Last Resort: Less Authority Is More for Teens
Troubled teen programs are the logical, furthest extension of authority. A recent New York Times editorial, “The Troubled-Teen Industry Offers Trauma, Not Therapy,” argues for more regulatory oversight and best practices for troubled teen programs, some of which have been exposed in recent years for abuse. The troubled teen industry, the teen wilderness treatment industry, and teen residential…
Nov 01, 2023
College Students, You Want to Separate Your Therapy From Your School
College is a highly emotional transition, yet most college health centers can only offer triage . In our therapy with college students, we often see young adults who are struggling turn to their schools’ health centers for mental health care. As writer Sofia Barnett argues in a recent Teen Vogue editorial, college students frequently find these centers coming up short in their support.The…
Oct 30, 2023
Feeling Safe and Being Safe Aren’t the Same Thing (And It’s Often Hard to Tell the Difference)
There is an important distinction between feeling safe and being safe. “Everyone has a right to feel safe.” “I want you to feel really safe in my office.” These are things I often hear from other therapists and I find myself cringing in response. While there are worthwhile underlying values of safety inherent in these statements, there is also an unhelpful conflation between being safe and…
Oct 27, 2023
This Happened to Me, but It Isn’t Who I Am (Or Is It?)
It was just so unlike me, my life. [caption id="attachment_6825" align="alignleft" width="238"] Tina Turner, 1970 (Photo: Al Kaplan)[/caption]In the opening scene of HBO’s 2021 Tina Turner documentary, Tina, the Queen of Rock settles in for her interview with a reluctance observable throughout the film, one that characterizes, seemingly, her very participation in the film itself. If viewers know…
Oct 26, 2023
Is COVID Still Affecting Couples' Priorities and Influencing Divorce?: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Buzzfeed
Whether pushing partners in casual relationships to suddenly move in together or creating tension as couples were forced to coexist in cramped apartments, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly altered many couples’ relationships. Even more than three years later, these impacts are still apparent, including influencing some couples’ decisions to divorce. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt…
Oct 11, 2023
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Addresses Parents’ Complicated Feelings About Their Young Adults’ Return to School on All Of It with Alison Stewart
Excitement, loss, anxiety, relief—parents can wrestle with a whole host of complicated emotions when their young adult child leaves home for college. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist returned to WNYC’s All Of It with Alison Stewart to discuss how parents can make room for all of their sometimes conflicting feelings as their kids gain independence and return to school.In the…
Sep 07, 2023
How Parents and Adult Children Can Navigate Living Together: Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist in Healthline
Since the pandemic, an increasing amount of parents and adult children have decided to live together. While there is often much discussion about these relationships grating on both the adult children and their parents, these arrangements can often be beneficial. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t need to be navigated with clarity and care. Our Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist…
Jul 05, 2023
Director Heather Mayone Addresses How to Heal Vaginismus and Other Psychosomatic Issues in The Cut
When a traumatic event happens, there is a timestamp on it. For instance, if an event happened when a person was a young child, there is part of them that feels as scared and vulnerable as they were then, even if they are now a high-functioning adult that is not currently under any direct threat. Sometimes this continuing intense fear can express itself as psychosomatic issues such as vaginismus.…
May 09, 2023
When Couples Therapy Isn’t Working: Director of Supervision and Training Kelly Scott in The Cut
There are times in couples therapy when things just aren’t changing. Sessions cycle through the same arguments with the same dynamics. Even though a couples therapist may be making insights and connections, nothing is shifting. At this point, two questions have to be asked. First, why aren’t things changing? And secondly—a bigger question—does the couple have the conditions for a healthy…
Apr 10, 2023
When We Talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder, We Often Leave Out an Important Piece: Our History
There are real reasons to feel sad in the winter: Not all of them have to do with the weather. A recent article in The Atlantic “The Surprising Truth About Seasonal Depression” explores the reality of seasonal affective disorder (otherwise known as SAD) and whether winter weather and waning light actually impact people’s propensity for depression. What the article misses, however, is the real…
Mar 29, 2023
There’s No Such Thing as Generalized Anxiety: Only an Overwhelming Accumulation of Unresolved Anxieties
Anxiety is a signal, not a biological disorder. We have an idea of anxiety as this amorphous thing, which culminates in the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This idea likely grows out of a wish that anxiety was a biological disorder, a malfunction of the nervous system that is correctible just like a malfunction of the endocrine system. But, it’s not. There’s…
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