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Welcome to Motherhood: You May Thrive, but You’re Going to Suffer Too (And That’s Okay)
A diagnosis can be helpful when suffering postpartum, but new moms don’t have to wait to get help. Whether postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety, new moms are told to look out for mental health issues after having a baby. Of course, this is important—a diagnosis can be integral to getting new moms the help they need. Particularly at the six- or eight-week checkup, providers like…
Aug 07, 2024
One of Our Most Important Jobs as Parents Is to Teach Our Children How to Suffer
Like it or not, teaching our kids how to suffer is a key part of parenting. If teaching our children to suffer doesn’t seem like a crowd-pleasing, headline-grabbing parenting tip, I get it. Suffering is, well, suffering. The belief that suffering not only can be avoided but should be avoided is so powerful that the very idea of suffering as something that needs to be encouraged feels possibly…
Jul 11, 2024
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Discusses the Many Struggles of FOMO on WNYC's All Of It with Alison Stewart
When we think of FOMO or the fear of missing out, we often imagine disappointment about a missed concert or envy at a friend’s big trip to Europe. Even though the acronym can sometimes fetishize the feeling, rendering it a consumable commodity (“I missed out but at least that means I have this cool, relatable thing called FOMO”), FOMO can indicate deeper struggles with isolation and a fear of…
Jul 10, 2024
Even People Who Have Money Feel Messed Up About It: But Look to Culture, Not Psychology for the Answer
While we don’t need yet another diagnosis, the experience of “money dysmorphia” can be very real and painful. The New York Times recently published an article about “money dysmorphia,” which they define as “someone who is irrationally insecure about finances.” While we do not need yet another popular diagnosis, the struggles the article exposes of feeling financially insecure when you have plenty…
Jul 09, 2024
Siblings Can Have Different Stories of Childhood: Family Therapy Can Help Complicate the Narrative
Even though they might have the same parents, siblings can have wildly differing narratives of the same family experiences. These discrepancies can have a lasting effect on adult siblings’ relationships, sometimes perpetuating years of conflict. Our Director of Supervision and Training Kelly Scott spoke with NPR about how working through these diverging stories in family therapy can be clarifying…
Jun 26, 2024
Parental Ambivalence Is Real and Complicated and We Need to Talk About It More
Parents can sometimes regret having children—they love their children, but they hate the job (and at times, they struggle with liking their children because they hate the job). As explored in a recent article in Time Magazine, these are painful and complicated feelings. However, they’re not as uncommon as society would have us assume.Society likes to only see the positive side of parenthood; the…
Jun 25, 2024
Lying Isn’t All Bad: Why and How to Be Curious When Your Kids Don’t Tell the Truth
Therapy with children: Kids lie for many reasons and parents should be curious about what lies communicate. We all lie—to ourselves and, in turn, to others. Adults lie for many different reasons, whether denying or avoiding a truth, convincing ourselves of something we want to believe, or protecting ourselves from a painful reality. So too with kids. In my therapy with children, the reasons why…
May 22, 2024
Confusing Responsibility and Obligation Is a Mistake: Take More Responsibility for Your Choices
Obligation is a way of dis-owning our responsibility for what we do or don’t do. “I didn’t want to go to my friend’s party, but I had to.” “I have to go to work.” “I just have to go to the family reunion.” “I have to get married if we’re going to move forward.” These are statements I hear both in my conversations with patients and out in the world about obligations. There is a tendency to rely on…
May 09, 2024
Gen Z Is Closer to Parents Than Ever: Make Sure Your Closeness Isn’t a Solution for Fear
Young adults remain more closely connected to their parents for longer than ever. There has been a lot of recent press about parents and their young adult children remaining closely connected for a much longer time than has been the case traditionally. A lot of reasons likely account for this such as financial struggle, life and career disruptions caused by the pandemic, and folks seeking…
Apr 26, 2024
How We Talk About Narcissism Misses the Ways It Can Be Essential
Despite social media’s fixation on narcissists, narcissism isn’t all bad. If you’re going by therapists and other mental health influencers on TikTok, we are experiencing a wave of narcissism. In these posts, suggesting that someone is a “narc” or a narcissist is often a stand-in for all manner of unpleasant behaviors and character traits, few of which have any relationship with the clinical…
Apr 25, 2024
Why Is Everyone Suddenly Obsessed With Polyamory?
Polyamory has attracted a lot of attention recently: Why?. In case you haven’t noticed, polyamory is hot right now. In particular, the inner workings of polyamorous relationships have become a popular subject in the press, from the cover story in New York Magazine to an article I was featured in for MindBodyGreen. It’s not as if polyamory—or what used to be typically referred to as open…
Apr 15, 2024
4 Things Polyamorous Couples Can Teach Monogamous Couples About Sex
Polyamorous couples organize their sex lives in ways that could be informative to monogamous couples . Monogamy is a reasonable enough organization of relationships and is probably best for most couples. However, a truly healthy marital relationship ought to be built on an understanding that, as necessary as it may be, monogamy is nonetheless a bit ridiculous. Not only do polyamorous couples know…
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