Like it or not, teaching our kids how to suffer is a key part of parenting If teaching our children to suffer doesn’t seem like a crowd-pleasing, headline-grabbing parenting tip, I get it. Suffering is, well, suffering. The belief that suffering not only can be avoided but should be avoided is so powerful that theRead more
Founder and Clinical Director Matt Lundquist Discusses the Many Struggles of FOMO on WNYC’s All Of It with Alison Stewart
When we think of FOMO or the fear of missing out, we often imagine disappointment about a missed concert or envy at a friend’s big trip to Europe. Even though the acronym can sometimes fetishize the feeling, rendering it a consumable commodity (“I missed out but at least that means I have this cool, relatableRead more
Even People Who Have Money Feel Messed Up About It: But Look to Culture, Not Psychology for the Answer
While we don’t need yet another diagnosis, the experience of “money dysmorphia” can be very real and painful The New York Times recently published an article about “money dysmorphia,” which they define as “someone who is irrationally insecure about finances.” While we do not need yet another popular diagnosis, the struggles the article exposes ofRead more
Tell Your Therapist You’re Mad at Them
Discussing your relationship with your therapist is an essential part of therapy Many online therapy-on-demand services explicitly tout the ability to switch therapists as a perk. If you hit a bump in the road, feel uncomfortable for any reason, or get mad at your therapist, including as a sign that you are growing, you areRead more
Parental Ambivalence Is Real and Complicated and We Need to Talk About It More
Parents can sometimes regret having children—they love their children, but they hate the job (and at times, they struggle with liking their children because they hate the job). As explored in a recent article in Time Magazine, these are painful and complicated feelings. However, they’re not as uncommon as society would have us assume. SocietyRead more
Lying Isn’t All Bad: Why and How to Be Curious When Your Kids Don’t Tell the Truth
Therapy with children: Kids lie for many reasons and parents should be curious about what lies communicate We all lie—to ourselves and, in turn, to others. Adults lie for many different reasons, whether denying or avoiding a truth, convincing ourselves of something we want to believe, or protecting ourselves from a painful reality. So tooRead more
Confusing Responsibility and Obligation Is a Mistake: Take More Responsibility for Your Choices
Obligation is a way of dis-owning our responsibility for what we do or don’t do “I didn’t want to go to my friend’s party, but I had to.” “I have to go to work.” “I just have to go to the family reunion.” “I have to get married if we’re going to move forward.” TheseRead more
Gen Z Is Closer to Parents Than Ever: Make Sure Your Closeness Isn’t a Solution for Fear
Young adults remain more closely connected to their parents for longer than ever There has been a lot of recent press about parents and their young adult children remaining closely connected for a much longer time than has been the case traditionally. A lot of reasons likely account for this such as financial struggle, lifeRead more
How We Talk About Narcissism Misses the Ways It Can Be Essential
Despite social media’s fixation on narcissists, narcissism isn’t all bad If you’re going by therapists and other mental health influencers on TikTok, we are experiencing a wave of narcissism. In these posts, suggesting that someone is a “narc” or a narcissist is often a stand-in for all manner of unpleasant behaviors and character traits, fewRead more
Why Is Everyone Suddenly Obsessed With Polyamory?
Polyamory has attracted a lot of attention recently: Why? In case you haven’t noticed, polyamory is hot right now. In particular, the inner workings of polyamorous relationships have become a popular subject in the press, from the cover story in New York Magazine to an article I was featured in for MindBodyGreen. It’s not asRead more
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